I Don't Want To Be Sexy, I Want To Grow Closer To God

I have just completed my 7th week of exercising. It was great! Yesterday was supposed to be my off day but I had some good music on so I ended up dancing and thus completed my exercising a day earlier. ;) I'm actually looking forward to taking the weekend off. I have my nephew and niece coming over and I'm sure that will be workout enough!

Reflections thus far:

It has been very hard getting into exercising again and increasing my amount of time of doing it. After losing 10 pounds and gaining 15 back a few times....it was getting quite discouraging and I wondered if I would every be able to keep focused. I've tried Go Fit! at Curves, Setting Captives Free, and even my local gym but then life happens and I get distracted. I'm really excited to have completed a 7th week of working out 5x a week! And I only have God to thank. I can try to work out on my own, eat healthy and all that, but when I take my eyes off of God, my focus becomes more about me and my desires and getting there on my own strength. With all of the exercise program out there that are about making ourselves feel better and being focused on ourselves constantly, it makes it hard to keep God in focus. When I first began using My Fitness Pal at the beginning of March, I got caught up in a lot of that calorie counting self focus. I began stressing about salt and sugar intake and trying to figure out a realistic way to eat healthier without succumbing to all of the nonsensical fads out there. I became so self focused and about me. That's when I realized that I can't live this way. It's not bad to make better choices in eating. It's just that when it becomes an obsession...you know what I mean. Eventually you'll burn out and fall flat on you face. The heart issue of geed isn't dealt with. And most importantly, I'd be putting myself before God. I titled this blog "Elohim, My Heart's Desire" because I want to have God lead my life and be all that I desire. I want to live for him and be healthy so I can honor him and perhaps have more time to share the hope I have in Christ with others. I also wanted to tackle my sin of greed and overeating...of turning to food instead of Him. Not to get a beach body or feel more attractive or whatever. If I'm beautiful in God's eyes, what else matters? I don't want to be sexy, I want to grow closer to God. 

Today I woke up crying and praying for those who are caught up in human trafficking and sex slavery. The women and children, those running brothels, those going to brothels, those stuck in pornography and self gratification, those clueless and/or in denial of all the evil going on. I can't help to think of this as an encouraging step. That perhaps my focus has been taken off of myself so I can see the world clearly and...care. It's counter cultural, but there it is.